Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

A Five-Year-Old’s Refutation of Open Theism

One morning several years ago, I was perusing an article about Open Theism, and my five-year-old daughter walked up and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was reading an article about the Bible. Then I asked her, “Jessica, do you think God knows for sure what will happen tomorrow?” She chuckled at the silliness of the question—as if to say “of course”—and said, “Yeah, He knows everything.” Then, after a brief pause, she added, “And He knows everything right now.”

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Piper’s book and the BCS Championship

Steven Holley kept his part of the our little wager since his Ducks fell to my Tigers in the BCS title game. Thanks for being a good sport Steven and thanks for the Piper book. Now what will happen between Waymeyer’s Packers and Kolstad’s Bears?

It’s just gas

Doug Wilson tells a funny one:

One time G.K. Chesterton, the rolypologist, was patted on the stomach by his adversary, George Bernard Shaw, a beanpole of an infidel, and was asked what they were going to name the baby. Chesterton replied immediately that if it was a boy, John, if a girl, then Mary. But if it turned out to only be gas, they were going to name it George Bernard Shaw.

Looking forward to gathering with the “Saints” this weekend

Dispensational Straw Man #137

I’ve come across countless misrepresentations of dispensationalism through the years, but here’s one I’ve never heard before. According to a recent comment over at the Riddleblog: “The dispensationalists teach that God actually had seven plans of redemption, because He had failed in the previous six!” I suppose if I were given a choice between Covenant Theology and a god who’s batting 1 for 7 when it comes to formulating a plan of redemption, I just might opt for Covenant Theology as well.

If you want to understand what dispensationalism actually teaches, I would recommend Dispensationalism: Essential Beliefs and Common Myths by Michael Vlach. See here for an overview of Vlach’s book.

Church Growth Gone Wild

I came across this blog post written by a local pastor in town.  I have never witnessed a pastor encouraging this type of “church growth” strategy before.  The names have been removed in this post to protect the innocent. :)  This pastor and I did correspond back and forth a few times but we graciously agreed to disagree on various points.  Here is his blog post below:

“As you heard during my presentation, XXX is now entering an exciting stage in it’s early ministry—where the stakes are high! In this stage, we must all start seeing ourselves as “missionaries to Freeport—recruiting other missionaries to Freeport.” Large churches like XXX can survive for quite some time based on size, budget, different-ness, and momentum. XXX can survive based on size, multiple staff and a broad, mainstream evangelical culture, and migration from broad evangelical churches.

We’ve deliberately chosen not to replicate XXX or XXX, because they have their own philosophy of ministry that fits a niche, but would simply render XXX the smaller, “step-sister” of these other churches (even if we wanted) to imitate them. I mention this because we offer something unique to Freeport. I believe we can reach broadly and disciple deeply a new generation. But getting to that point will require “all prayers up, and all hands on deck”. It will truly take the entire XXX family praying and working together!

I ask during the upcoming year each of you join our family in…
1) Asking our sovereign God to glorify Himself by bringing to XXX people who would 1) Benefit greatly from XXX AND who would 2) Contribute greatly to XXX (as missionaries with us). To be honest, XXX needs both types of people.

2) Making a list of both types of people that you personally know. Please do NOT rule anyone out because they have gone to “church x” for 15 years. Missionaries are always people sent from an established church, to start a new church. No churches would exist today if no one left their churches to birth ‘daughter’ churches. There’s nothing immoral about asking people to be missionaries. It’s been done for 2000 years!

**Making these friend lists should be fun. After all, this is a chance for you to sit back and ask, “who would I love to see a part of XXX?” Who would be a privilege to serve alongside?” “who would add warmth, servant-heartedness and gifts to a new church?”

Praying for you!
~ Pastor XXX XXX”

Weekend Fun: Look out, your Wittgenstein is showing.

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